1x08: Stuttering on the First
Episode 8
Episode Premiere: 9: 30 PM
(Marie's house -her room-)
Marie: So, you guys, are like officially together?
Jessica: Yep, something like that.
Marie: How was it like?
Jessica: What?
Marie: Uh, the kiss?
Jessica: Oh. It was- uh- peachy.
Marie: Oh my god! You didn't kiss him, did you?
Jessica: No! I mean, we weren't ready for that level yet.
Marie: You have to do it! If not, he'll sense you don't like him.
Jessica: Really?
Marie: Yeah!
Jessica: How do you know?
Marie: Uh, hello. I made out with Justin Timberlake.
Jessica: It was your poster, Marie.
Marie: So?
Jessica: -stares at Marie blankly then comes back to earth- So, it wasn't real. This is real and really important.
Marie: Fine. Don't kiss him! Let him stray!
Jessica: I'm not gonna let him stray-
Marie: Ooh! Yeah!-
Jessica: But I'm not kissing him either!
(Hallways -Patrick's locker-)
Amanda: When were you going to tell me, Patrick?
Patrick: What?
Amanda: That Miss Lovely Michelle is your girlfriend?
Patrick: Sorry, I was too focused on something called homework!
Amanda: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, why would you go out with that hag?
Patrick: Because she's beautiful. And well I like her.
Amanda: You know what's funny, you didn't like her yesterday?
Patrick: Actually, I did.
Amanda: Well, you didn't the day before?
Patrick: Yeah, I did.
Amanda: Aha! So why didn't you tell me?
Patrick: Because I knew this would happen.
Amanda: That doesn't matter, Patrick. You're my best friend, I thought we would be honest to each other.
Patrick: -sighs- I'm sorry, Amanda, alright. I'm sorry, I didn't tell you.
Amanda: Fine, Patrick.
Michelle: -walking towards Patrick- Patty!
Amanda: Patty? -disgusted-
Michelle: -kisses Patrick- I missed you.
Amanda: It has only been a day since you guys have last seen each other.
Michelle: -lets go of Patrick and walks toward Amanda- How do you know? Have you been stalking me?
Amanda: Sorry, I don't stalk freak shows.
Michelle: Funny, 'cause you are a freak show.
Amanda: Keep going from there and I'll break you like the stick you are.
Michelle: You wouldn't even try.
Amanda: Oh, trust me. I would.
Patrick: -walks between them- Calm down! Guys, you both mean a lot to me.
Michelle: Fine, whatever! See you later, Patty! -walks away-
Amanda: See you later, Patty! -mocks-
Patrick: Can you stop?!
Amanda: Why?
Patrick: For me! Do it for me! This is the first time, I have girlfriend. And, you don't even care! I always care about you! Can't you do this for me.
Amanda: -doesn't respond-
Patrick: What a friend. -walks away-
(The Collin's house -the entrance-)
(The door bell rings)
Jessica: I'll get it!
Mikey: It's not like anyone else was gonna get it!
Jessica: Whatever. -walks to the door-
Mikey: Right.. she never has anything to say.
Jessica: -opens the door and sees Luke- Hey! Can I help you?
Luke: Yeah, remember when I asked you out on a date and you said sometime.
Jessica: Yeah, why?
Luke: Can we go out later, tonight?
Jessica: Yeah, why not?
Luke: Okay, so I'll pick you up, later. At 8?
Jessica: Yeah, sure!
Luke: -leaves-
Jessica: -closes the door- Oh my gosh! I have a date with Luke!
Mikey: That's surprising, especially for someone like you.
Jessica: Shut up loser!
Mikey: Be quiet, tooth pick!
Jessica: -sighs and walks upstairs-
Mikey: -murmers- That's right, walk away.
(Patrick's house -his room-)
Patrick: -phone rings- Hello?
Michelle: Wanna go out later, babe?
Patrick: Yeah, where?
Michelle: I don't know, just me meet at my house later tonight.
Patrick: Cool, see you later tonight.
Michelle: Bye! -hangs up-
Patrick: Shoot! What do I wear? -nervous- I can't do this!
(The Collin's house -Jessica's room-)
Jessica: Mikey!
Mikey: What?!
Jessica: Come!
Mikey: -sighs and walks in Jessica's room- What?
Jessica: What do I wear?! -pacing- I mean I can't wear a dress, he'll think I'm making us official. I can't wear a skirt, too much skin. I can't wear jeans, he'll think I'm a tomboy.
Mikey: Just be yourself, it'll scare him right away.
Jessica: Can you not be sarcastic right now?
Mikey: Oh, I'm not being sarcastic, trust me.
Jessica: Mikey, now's not the time.
Mikey: Why don't you just be yourself?
Jessica: Because it doesn't work that way.
Mikey: Yes it does, if he fell for who you are then be who you are. Especially, if it means being an alien.
Jessica: -sighs and sits down- I need help, Mike.
Mikey: Don't even-
Jessica: Can you help me on my date?
Mikey: Shoot!
Jessica: Please! -goes down on her knees-
Mikey: You have got to be kidding me?
Jessica: Please, please, please!
Mikey: Alright, fine! But, you're gonna have to give me ten bucks!
Jessica: For what?
Mikey: In case I get hungry.
Jessica: Whatever. -hands him money-
(Michelle's house -the entrance-)
Patrick: Hey!
Danielle: Oh hey, come in! -smiling-
Patrick: -walks in- Where's Michelle?
Danielle: Getting ready, like always.
Patrick: Oh right! -sits down-
Michelle: Mom! -comes downstairs- Oh hey, Patrick!
Patrick: Hey!
Michelle: I know, where were going.
Patrick: Where?
Michelle: It's a surprise!
Patrick: Okay.
Michelle: -pulls him out the door-
Danielle: Have fun! -sighs- Kids, can't live without em.
(The Collin's house -the entrance-)
Mikey: How am I going to hel-
Jessica: You're going to the follow me and Luke, alright?
Mikey: Okay. Fine!
Jessica: -the door rings- That's him!
Mikey: Oh man.
Jessica: Hey, Luke!
Luke: So, we going?
Jessica: Yeah!
Luke: So, let's go. -holds her hand-
Jessica: Bye, Mikey! -walks out-
Mikey: Alright, Mikey, time for your ninja skills.
(Park -with Patrick and Michelle-)
Patrick: -thinking- What should I say?
Michelle: So, how's life at home?
Patrick: Cool, y'know.. -nervous-
Michelle: -looking around-
Patrick: -sees Amanda pointing at him-
Amanda: -mouthing- Come!
Patrick: Um, Can I go back to the car, I forgot something?
Michelle: Sure, I'll wait here.
Patrick: -walks to Amanda-
Amanda: Patrick! Say something!
Patrick: What are you doing?
Amanda: Helping you, now go ask her about herself. She's a self absorbed popular girl, she loves to hear that.
Patrick: Alright. -runs back to Michelle-
Michelle: Oh, you're back.
Patrick: So... what do you do when you go home? I mean, uh, what do you eat? I mean-
Michelle: I watch TV and eat popcorn, -laughs- what about you?
Amanda: -mouths- Go along with it!
Patrick: I do homework and eat fruits. -smiles-
Michelle: -laughs-
Patrick: Who did you go out with before me?
Michelle: Tom, the guitarist, in the school band.
Patrick: Oh, wow, he must have been cool unlike me.
Patrick: Oh, wow, he must have been cool unlike me.
Michelle: Patrick, you might not be cool. But at least you weren't a jerk, and you cared to tutor me.
Patrick: -smiles- Thanks! -looks at Amanda-
(Restaurant -with Luke and Jessica-)
Jessica: -mouthing to Mikey- What should I say?
Luke: What?
Jessica: Oh, I said, “What are you ordering?”
Luke: Oh, um spaghetti, didn't we already order?
Jessica: Yeah, but it was so loud I couldn't hear.
Luke: No one was talkin-
Jessica: Well, for some reason it was loud.
Luke: Okay?
Mikey: -mouthing- School grades! -pretending to order something-
Jessica: So, how are your school grades now?
Luke: Good, I'm above the B+ average, which is great.
Mikey: -mocking- I think I'm so cool because I got a B+ average, blah blah blah.
Luke: What was that? -turns around-
Mikey: -goes under his table-
Jessica: Nothing! -turns him around- Just a little racket. -smiles slyly-
Mikey: -comes up from the table-
Ellen: -walks in the restaurant with Thomas-
Mikey: Oh, snap! I gotta tell Jessie! -opens his phone and starts to texts her-
Jessica: -feels the phone vibrate- Shoot.
Luke: What happened?
Mikey: -whispers- Hurry.
Jessica: Um, nothing. It's just a little thing.
Luke: Okay?
Jessica: May I go to the bathroom?
Luke: Sure?
Jessica: -runs to Mikey- Dude! Where's mom?
Mikey: Right over there, you know how over emotional she gets on your dates.
Jessica: How do you know?
Mikey: I don't. -lies- Anyways hurry up!
Jessica: Please cover up for me, don't let her know I'm here.
Mikey: -looks at Jessica- Fine.
Jessica: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! -hugs Mikey-
Mikey: Alright, calm your butthole down!
Jessica: No need to be mean.
Mikey: Well go!
Jessica: Okay
Mikey: Wait, one more thing!
Jessica: What?
Mikey: -smiles- Have fun.
Jessica: Thanks. -runs back to Luke-
Mikey: Wow.
(Park -with Patrick and Michelle-)
Michelle: So, what grade do you think I got on the last literature test?
Patrick: A B-?
Michelle: Wrong! A+!
Patrick: Keep it up, and I'm going to have to kiss you.
Michelle: Why have a reason?
Patrick: -leans in and kisses her-
Amanda: Ugh. Gross! -covers her eyes-
Patrick: -lets go and looks into her eyes- I like you, a lot.
Michelle: Me too.
Amanda: Ugh! I wish I had a blind fold.
Michelle: I think, I'm actually going to have a real boyfriend. -smiles-
Patrick: Me too, I-I-I mean girlfriend.
Amanda: -hits her forehead-
Michelle: I like your goofiness, you don't have to hide it.
Patrick: Well that's comforting.
Amanda: Awe, -smiles.
(Restaurant -with Luke and Jessica-)
Ellen: -sees someone like Jessica- Jessica?
Mikey: Snap! -runs over to Ellen- Hey mom!
Ellen: What are you doing here?
Mikey: Paying you a friendly visit. -fake chuckles-
Ellen: Oh, weird, but okay.
Mikey: I don't love you so much. -hugs her-
Ellen: Oh, thanks! -pats him softly on the back, trying to get to Jessica-
Mikey: Are you hungry? I'm hungry, let's eat! -pulls Ellen down-
Ellen: Actually I'm not.
Mikey: Well I am. -puts a napkin in his shirt smiling-
Ellen: Awe, you look so cute! -grabbing his cheeks-
Mikey: Oh, goody! -smiling so his cheeks can show-
Ellen: Stop doing it, it's too adorable. -smiling- Awe!
Mikey: It's because I don't love you so. -fake laughs-
Ellen: I think I see Jessica, wait here. -starts to walk away-
Mikey: -ripping the napkin- Wait! You have to get me extra clothes!
Ellen: Why?
Mikey: -takes someone's barbecue sauce, puts it on his face and clothes- Because I'm dirty! -smiles-
Ellen: Mikey! Stop acting like a kid! -stands in front of him so no one sees-
Mikey: Why hide? Be proud of your son.
Ellen: -covers her face- Oh god.
Mikey: -laughs-
Ellen: Mikey, stop it. You're embarrassing me!
Mikey: -starts to eat someone's cake- I am so hungry, mom. Get me something to eat. -splats the cake in his face-
Ellen: Oh my god! Mikey, stop!
Mikey: -laughs- I love cake!
Ellen: Wait, a minute. That is Jessica. Hold your goofiness, until I come back.
Mikey: No! -starts to think then he throws his pants down-
Ellen: Oh my god! Mikey, pick it up! I have to see Jessica!
Mikey: -splats cake on his underwear-
Ellen: Mikey! Stop this instant! Thomas is over there ordering and you're acting all insane. Stop! I'm going over to Jessica! -walks to Jessica-
Jessica: -sees Ellen- Oh my god.
Ellen: Young lady, what are you doing here?
Luke: Hi, Mrs. Collins. -sticks his hand out-
Ellen: Oh right. You're the boy who took my daughter out without telling me.
Jessica: It wasn't his fault. I didn't tell you, he told me to though.
Ellen: We are going home.
Mikey: No you're not, mom.
Ellen: Excuse me?
Mikey: Oh my god! Mom, can't you see? Jessica wanted to be alone on her date, and you intruding wouldn't help. All this stupid cake splatting and barbecue saucing, is because I agree with Jessica. She's not a little girl anymore, she needs to grow up, and so do you.
Ellen: We're going home, now! Mikey, Jessica, in the car!
Mikey: -walks to the car-
Jessica: Bye, Luke! -kisses his cheek-
Luke: -sees Jessica leave- Man. This stinks.
(In the Car -with Jessica, Mikey, and Ellen)
Ellen: I can not believe you guys would do this. And you Jessica, out of all!
Jessica: Yeah, well you don't even know me!
Ellen: Yes I do, I raised you.
Jessica: No, you raised Mikey, the cold-blooded one.
Mikey: I freakin' helped you on your stupid date!
Jessica: So? She still found out, I bet you planned it. Since you have nothing better to do then ruin my life.
Mikey: Really? It appears to me, that you have nothing better to do then whine about everything. All you're good at is making stupid complaints about the best things in the world. You don't know what you have until someone else has it.
Jessica: Oh really? I'm the stupid one, who's the one with the barbecue and cake on his face? Who has the cake stuck to his butt? You do!
Mikey: I never wanted to help you! I could have stayed at home instead of working with the plastic barbie doll. All you ever cared about was popularity.
Jessica: Talking about the freak-show. The stupid heartless lazy stone, useless too! I WAS the most liked one in New York and I'm still going to be the most liked one. Everyone at school, even teachers LOVED me! Everyone HATED you, and you wanna know why? Because you're so full of hate, that's what everyone feels for you!
Mikey: You know what! -furious- I'm never going to help you again! You don't care what ANYONE does for you. Because if it doesn't go you're way, you get mad! I did the best I could, so you could think of me differently but it doesn't matter! Because you know what, I HATE you! I was trying so hard to be non self-absorbed! All I want is for you to be happy about having me in the family. But it doesn't work that way.
Jessica: -shocked-
Ellen: Guys, we're here. Anything else to get off your chests?
Mikey: I'm done. -walks out the car and slams the door-
Ellen: Go talk to him, Jessie. -smiles-
Jessica: I'll try.
(Park -with Patrick and Michelle-)
Michelle: Let's go home, please?
Patrick: Sure, I'll reach up to you.
Michelle: Kay.
Amanda: -comes out the bushes- Congratulations, you have a girlfriend.
Patrick: Because of you, thanks for everything.
Amanda: -smiles- No problem.
Patrick: You are the best-est friend I've had in a long time.
Amanda: -smiles- Wow, thanks. -laughs-
Patrick: -hugs Amanda-
Amanda: -let's go-
Patrick: Thank you, Amanda. I'm sorry about what I said.
Amanda: Go! -laughs-
Patrick: Oh, right. Bye!
(The Collin's house -Mikey's room-)
Mikey: -putting the rest of his clothes on-
Jessica: -walks in- Showered?
Mikey: Yeah, why do you care?
Jessica: I don't, but I care about you. The things you said we're all true, and I love you too.
Mikey: I didn't say 'I L.O.V.E you.'
Jessica: But I did.
Mikey: Oh. -sits down-
Jessica: Mikey, you're my big brother and I couldn't think of anyone except you. You care about me, when I don't. What you did at the restaurant was... sweet. You're sweet, which is why you're Mikey. -smiles-
Mikey: I don't love you too, -smiles-.
Jessica: -laughs and hugs Mikey-
Mikey: -hugs Jessica-
